Us Self Destructive Ladies

Another week goes by… wow… I hope everyone is doing well. Thank you for taking the time to check in with me and read another blog post.

This week I’ve been talking to a lot of the women in my life about self- esteem and the way we think about and feel about our bodies. The question came up in conversation when did we start hating our bodies? What changed to take us from the carefree days of our childhood to the self loathing and body image obsessing teenaged years which carries on through adulthood? It seems to gradually get worse as we age too and the more we try to fight the age spots, saggy skin and cellulite, the more frustrated and self destructive we become. When is the last time you looked in the mirror and thought I look great today? I don’t know there was ever such a day that I can remember for me. I can always find a fault; the flabby belly, acne scars on my cheeks, stretch marks, thunder thighs… I won’t bother to continue but I know a lot of you ladies out there know what I’m talking about all too well.

All these thoughts brings me back to my inspiration for my short story that was published in the Nobody’s Perfect spin-off from Chicken Soup for the Soul books. “Beautiful All Along”, which you can find and read under my “Published Work” tab on my website, is the short story I wrote about how I began to grow from a child’s body into a woman’s body and learned to accept myself. While I did make steps towards loving myself more, I certainly don’t love myself as much as I should. If I had a dollar for every horrible thing I said to myself or every time I grab the extra flab on my tummy and wiggled it in disgust, I’m pretty sure I’d be rich.

There is a great quote that has stuck with me from Eleanor Roosevelt, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”. The only person making me feel inferior is myself. I can blame magazines, models and Hollywood for brainwashing us into thinking a near skeletal woman is the picture perfect image of beauty. That would be easy, to blame someone else, but I take full responsibility for how I view myself. I admit to feeling frustrated when I work out at least four times a week, eating salads, not drinking pop,  chasing after my one year old all day and the scale doesn’t stop close to where I’d like it to. I know I will never be a size zero because I naturally have wide hips, thick sturdy legs and heavy bones. I want to feel satisfied that I put the effort in to be healthy and be happy with the results I have got.  That is difficult with all the bad thoughts circling in my mind.

I want to change that. I do. I have been taking notice of woman in the grocery store, walking down the street, wherever I’ve been and most of them do not look like a size zero. Their bodies in reality are more comparable to mine. In my mind I convince myself that the majority of woman out there have better figures than I do and less imperfections. This is simply not true.

I began to think about how to stop myself from feeling inferior. Every morning for the next week I am making a vow to write down one good thing about myself and throughout the day I am going to think about that one good thing. How terrifying it is to think about writing down 7 good things. I’ll even share those things next week on my blog. Are there any ladies out there willing to take the challenge with me? I invite you to try this with me and share your good thoughts next week. Maybe if I see the words written down on paper I’ll be more likely to believe them.

Here goes 7 Days of Happy Thoughts to bring me closer to not making myself feel inferior.

Until next week. Happy thought-ing… 🙂

❤ Melissa

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