Happy Birthday to sasloveswords.com

Happy-Birthday-balloons-vector-1Happy Friday everyone! And happy 1st birthday to my website!! Bring on the balloons, hang up the streamers, let’s celebrate! One year has flown by… I can’t believe it. I owe another huge thank you to all of you who were with me from the beginning and for everyone that joined along the way. Your support is immeasurable, truly. As with any new adventure, the first year had its ups and downs; sometimes to the point where I wasn’t sure if I would be able to continue, but when I saw people reading my words and responding with such encouragement it pushed me to not give up that easy. So who wants cake? Ha!

There are some things I learned along the way this year. First thing was I am more tech-savvy than I thought I was. Okay so a lot of credit has to go to WordPress for supporting my site and giving me a template to work with, but not everything was so straight forward. I still had to figure out how many tabs to create, sub-tabs, how load the information to those tabs. I am not web designer, so I basically just was flying by the seat of my pants and making it up as I go. Secondly I discovered a deeper understanding of myself through writing my posts each week. I understand more how my self-doubt and fear holds me back from my potential and when I get the courage up to push myself passed those boundaries wonderful things happen, like meeting complete strangers all over the world who I connect with. It’s amazing! I also learned that it’s really okay to take a little selfish time to myself, let the laundry pile up and the dirt sit on the floors a little longer, so I can have some time to do something I am so passionate about. I have written almost 40,000 words in my book, rediscovered a love of my poetry, revisited old short stories and fueled my love of the written word. I took a weekend by myself to go to a writer’s seminar which really inspired me and gave me more tools in my belt. I feel like I have come far, but still have far to go. The year ahead is not going to be an easy one to balance, for reasons I am not yet ready to tell the world, but I will persevere and do my best. I will keep my heart and mind open to new experiences, to find inspiration every where I can and to enjoy each day as it comes with the highs and the lows.

I hope you will bare with me and stick around to see where the next year will lead. I will continue to post my poetry, book reviews and random writing thoughts and adventures. I will stay consist as much as I possibly can.

Thank you all for reading; thank you for sharing; thank you for being there; thank you for your encouragement.

Happy, happy birthday to my blog!! Cheers!!!

❤ Melissa

Poetry Friday – Time To Come

Hello everyone and happy Friday once again. Happy Poetry Friday! I feel like my life is playing out in fast forward these days; the hours in the day just slip away so quickly. Where is time going? I can’t keep up!! Messy house, events to plan, people to see, child to care for, blog to write, work to do, house to renovate. Yikes, yikes, yikes!!! And it’s such a gorgeous day out right now: the temperature is rising, the sun shining, birds chirping. I just want to escape it all and sit idol and quiet for as long as possible to enjoy it. But there isn’t time for that! No time! Speaking of time… I wanted to share a short poem with you in the spirit of no time while I attempt to take little time from you great people. This is a quick read. I’m off to finish my mile long to do list… last item on the list is writing. Again! So frustrated at the moment with that, but that’s a poem for another day. 🙂 Happy weekend my friends. Hope you are well and enjoy a quiet moment to yourself!

❤ Melissa


Time To Come

As time unfolds the elaborate web,
in which the years will write,
the mystery of forgotten unwinds.
The passage from my youthdom
has carried itself out towards extinction.
I understand my adulthood to approach
with quickened seconds and to end
with seemingless endless moments.
 

Only the future becoming the past
will portray the way in which my predictions
were wrong or right.
But regardless of expectations or goals,
I am to be the person I will be
graduated from each day I live.


A Tribute To My Grandpa: WWII Veteran and Laughter Enthusiast

Happy Friday everyone and Happy Easter weekend, this post is20150322_151449 one that I have been putting off for weeks now; not because it wasn’t important, quite the opposite actually, because it is so important that I get the words right. I have been writing it over and over and over and over again in my mind for weeks and to be totally honest I am still a little nervous as I type this. I am dedicating this week to my Grandpa, Alfred Heitzman, who passed away February 22, 2015. This man meant a great deal to a lot of people and I certainly don’t want to let any one of them or him down by not expressing myself in the best possible way. The only way I know how to honour him honestly is to turn off my mind and just let my heart speak the words it needs to. So please bare with me as I gather my courage and open my heart.

One of the single most things I remember about my Grandpa is his laugh. He had the kind of laugh that would make other people laugh just because of it. He told dirty jokes and had a wicked sense of humour.The “Heitzman” laugh is something that was passed down to my Dad as well: a throaty, full-hearted laugh that makes me smile now as I think about it.

Growing up, I didn’t feel like I had the closest relationship with my Grandpa that maybe I would have liked to. He loved to talk about rugby, LOVED to talk about rugby and cricket and most of the time when we talked, I felt like I couldn’t relate to the things he loved to talk about. In the past few weeks, many stories and memories of him have been shared by other members of my family, extended family and family friends which in hearing them I’ve come to realize that maybe after all I was more like my Grandpa than I ever thought. He loved to sing, loved music and loved to make people laugh. Though I don’t sing outside the walls of my house, well outside my car or my house, I love to sing; I love music more than anything, almost as much as I love to make people laugh. These ‘love-of’s’ are things we shared.

On the day we buried my Grandpa, my Dad read a passage from the bible and also made a speech about what his Dad meant to him. The one thing he said that touched me more than anything was when he called my Grandpa his hero. I never realized that my Dad saw him that way, but I can understand why. My Grandpa served in World War II in the Allied Forces, Special Forces Division. He was sixteen. He was there in this unimaginable situation, part of the ‘first boots on the ground’ battalions, still a child. At sixteen I was worried about whether my parents would let me borrow their car and if I’d be home from school in time to watch the latest Backstreet Boys video on MuchMusic. I couldn’t even imagine being on the front lines of a war. Yet he was there and somehow he survived several wounds including being shot in the leg. In fact, he was shot during battle, sent back to the base to recover and when he did, he was sent back out to war. The strength and courage it must have taken to go back after having a close call already is admirable to say the least.

I am not sure if it was despite the tough times or because of them that made him who he was. Above all else, he loved life and fought for it. Several times over the past few years, our family received a call from the care home where he was living saying that we’d better come soon to say our goodbyes because it didn’t look good. Every time we’d go, visit and think this was it but time again he would surprise us and keep on going. Even in his final weeks when we were told this would be the end for him, he surpassed all estimations and fought for nineteen more days before he passed away. He wasn’t going to give up easily. He didn’t give up easily.

Strength. Courage. Humour. These are character traits I hope are instilled inside me. Though I know I have barely scratched the surface of his 90 year lifespan in this post this week, I just want to say thank you Grandpa for fighting for a better future for your children, your grandchildren, your great-grandchildren. That is not something I take lightly; I know many people made the ultimate sacrifice to fight evil. Now that you are reunited with Grandma and your family once again, I’m sure wherever you are now the room echos with laughter, maybe yours loudest of all.

Rest in peace, love and laughter.

Until one day (should I be so lucky far, far, far, far in the future), when we meet again. poppy-flower-hd-wallpaper

❤ Melissa

Unsuccessful: Finding The Silver Lining

Happy Saturday everyone. Hope you had a good week. Sorry for posting a day late, but my mind has been elsewhere these past few weeks. I’ve been fighting a nasty cold since last week which certainly hasn’t been easy with my son being sick too.  Cold season sucks!!! I am so ready for it to be springtime and ready to embrace the warmer weather.

Anyways a few weeks ago I don’t know if you remember me talking about how I submitted  one of my short stories to a contest. It was the Writer’s Digest Short, Short Story contest that I submitted to and a couple of weeks ago I got an email with an update on the judging. My heart was racing with excitement and fear as I clicked on the email to read. Over 6500 entries were submitted to this contest and the email went on to say the editors had already been in contact with all the winners previously. Wait, what? Already made contact? Oh no, what if I missed an email… I searched my junk mail… nothing. Searched my inbox… nothing. No email from any editor about the contest. I didn’t win a place in the top. Ouch! The disappointment I felt lasted a few moments before I reminded myself that I love my short story; I am proud of my short story. I took a chance but 6500 short stories is a lot of competition and obviously the judges were looking for something different from what my story had to offer. That’s okay! At the end of the day, I don’t need to win a contest to validate that what I wrote has touched many people who have read it. The fact alone that I could affect and touch one person reading it is enough validation alone. Included in the contest entry cost was access to a free webinar about self publishing which has given me more information, some inspiration and food for thought, so I certainly didn’t walk away from this  a loser. I am a winner because I took a chance. If you’re interested in reading my short story for the first time or a second, you can find it here.


 “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” ― Winston S. Churchill


So off I go with my knowledge and another contest under my belt. Off to the next writing experience. I hope you all have a great rest of the weekend. Until next time! Thanks again for stopping by.

❤ Melissa

Poetry Friday – Falls Down

Happy Friday everyone. Hope you are doing well. Last week was an emotional one for me because our family lost a member. I really wanted to blog about it this week, but I’m not quite emotional strong enough to dive into those emotions yet. They are difficult and I need some more time to deal with them internally. It certainly has opened my eyes again to how precious and short life is. Every day is a gift to spend with the people you love in the life. I don’t take that for-granted.  This week I wanted to share a poem with you that is about rebirth and allowing yourself to take that step forward to embracing a new and better life. Sometimes the hardest thing we can ever do is take that first step to wanting something more, something greater. That’s the feeling I wanted to capture in this piece. I hope you enjoy it. I wish you a safe, happy and peaceful weekend filled with much love. Take care. Thank you for stopping by once again.

❤ Melissa


Falls Down

I am so close
almost passed the world’s edge,
stood for hours, days, years,
now a moment too long.
Step once more no resistance,
only air whispering past my ears.
With the closing of my eyes,
all I have now, seconds.

Look up at this sky,
I’m faster now, in perfect silence.
Couldn’t you have held me all-embracing
ignoring the ending day?
Wouldn’t you just sever that ferocity
in words surrounding us?
Shouldn’t you weep just
once for murder?

Did I steady myself to fall
with conviction to you
or be alone?
Was that step so effortless
for desperation causes
or healing purposes?

Bottom of the end,
the womb of my birth,
establish my heart beat
and force my eyes open
with swift, new winds.

Could It Be Too Good To Be True?

Hello again everyone. Happy Friday! I’m back this week with a question that has been weighing on my mind for months now. Could it be too good to be true? I have been trying to find another way to make some extra income with my writing. Creating a masterpiece novel is quite time-consuming and difficult to reap financial rewards in a short-term period, so I have been wracking my brain trying to find another way to continue to write and get paid. Win, win! I stumbled across an ad in the Writer’s Digest magazine for AWAI’s Accelerated Six-Figure Copywriting Course. I checked out their website and read all their promises for a six figure career working part-time from home: your own hours, your own home, lots of money. The course they offer is risk-free and they state they will refund your money if you decide that this course just isn’t for you after all. At first I bought in hook, line and sinker, thinking yes, this is what I have been looking for. I didn’t need to make a six-figure income, just a comfortable one that I could do on my own schedule, but the more I thought about it, the more I started to doubt it. Could it be too good to be true? Could I really succeed in this industry? I’m not saying anything negative about AWAI or their course because I am sure it is an excellent resource, but I am not sure how I would succeed with it. Could I create good marketing material that companies would want? How competitive is the industry in my area? Would it be something I enjoy or just a way to make money?

Every couple of years I like to take a course to learn something new. The last one I took was a Freelance Writing course from ICS Canada which I absolutely loved and learned so much from. I loved the online setting and the fact I could take the course at my own pace from home. That course gave me the confidence to return to my writing with the hopes one day I could make a career from it.

I am still strongly considering taking a copywriting course, but I have a family now, so if I’m going to commit time and money to something I have to make sure that it is worth it. To my writer friends out there, have you had any experience with copywriting or know anyone who has? Did they take an online course? Do they enjoy it and find lots of work? I appreciate your feedback. The more info the better! My indecisiveness while weighing the pros and cons is exhausting.

Well I hope you all have a wonderful weekend. I’m off to give my sick son some extra good mommy snuggle time to make him feel better. Snuggle time is my favorite time!

Thank you as always for reading.

See you next week!

❤ Melissa

Book Review: The 13th Gift by Joanne Huist Smith

13th gift Happy book review Friday! Hope you all had a great week. I snuggled up with a blanket Sunday afternoon while my son was napping and power read “The 13th Gift” by Joanne Huist Smith. It is set around the Christmas season, so most people would probably want to read it around the holidays, but I actually didn’t mind reading it after Christmas. The story is about a family who is dealing with the immense loss of their husband/father. They feel lost and broken, not really wanting to or feeling ready to celebrate the first Christmas without him. Everything changes when mysterious gifts start appearing at their doorstep. The story was simple, but the emotions were powerful. I could feel how lost and disconnected this family was until strangers began leaving gifts at their doorstep once every day leading up to Christmas. The mystery and the thoughtfulness of these strangers whom only sign each card as ‘ your true friends’ really bring the family together.

The message of the story really resonated with me. The power of kindness. It was amazing to see how one small gift each day for twelve days could unit this family and bring them a small piece of happiness in their day. The 13th Gift was a short and simple read which I appreciated. It was easy to get lost in the love and pain of this family.

I give the book 5/5 stars. It was well written, short and sweet and left the reader with a reminder of how one simple act of kindness could change someone’s life. Definitely pick this book up if you’re looking for a great book and don’t want to commit to an epic novel. Happy reading!

Have a fantastic weekend and happy reading!

*I was given a copy of this book by http://www.bloggingforbooks.org in exchange for an honest review*

❤ Melissa

Emotional Recklessness

QuoteHappy Friday! It’s a bittersweet Friday for me. I’m happy because it is the weekend, but I’m anxious because it’s Friday already. I feel like it was an hour ago that I was scrambling last week to get a post up and here I am again this week in full panic mode. This is no way to write, under all that pressure. It took me all of today obsessing about it and repeating in my mind… you have nothing to say… you have nothing to say… you’re going to skip this week… I know it… you’re going to fail yourself and post a big fat nothing.

I am emotionally reckless. I am tearing my writer self apart for not prioritizing my writing more. Even during the crazy rush of Christmas, I didn’t feel this far behind. The days are literally slipping through my fingers. My son Dylan was sick at the end of last week and the beginning of this week, so he was needy. He only wanted Mommy snuggles at bedtime which is usually when Dad takes over and I can get a few moments to myself. I have been working hard on trying to get a family trip to Kelowna organized and booked. That is not an easy task with nine of us involved. My house is a train wreck, almost to the point where I was considering moving to save myself the hours and hours of cleaning it. That took up a huge chunk of my day yesterday and will again today. I looked into it… it was too expensive to move, so I had to clean. I have to do a bunch of planning still for Dylan’s party including some baking this weekend. The only break I got so far this week was a couple of hours to write my book. Although I was trying to come up with every distraction I could before I convinced myself to sit down and write. But I did. Slowly and steadily the word count is growing. 36,272 words written!

Even my office job is so busy at the moment that it can get overwhelming at times. The only time at work when I feel like I can get a moment to breathe is when I spend my hour lunch break in the gym. Thank God for that quiet alone time to myself. Our gym is the size of a closet but it is functional and ninety-nine percent of the time I am alone.

All of this is making me feel edgy and anxious. Especially writing my weekly blog. It is probably just a phase I am going through, but I feel like I have lost direction and focus here. I am not sure what my message is. I want to share my poems and book reviews. The blogs in between are just my random thoughts relating to life and writing. Is that enough to sustain me? Am I talking about things people want to read about? Am I saying something people can relate to? Oh those self-doubt demons are lurking around me. They are wanting me to make excuses and give up. It is easier to run and hide then stay and fight. I am emotional reckless:, tired, scared, anxious, happy, frustrated, overwhelmed, hopeful.

I am going to end this week on hopeful. I am hopeful above all the rest. Hopeful in my heart I know the direction I am taking my writing. Hopeful I am capable of maintaining balance. Hopeful I can continue to forgive myself when I don’t. Hopeful I remember I am human and am I doing the best I can at each moment of my life.

80s-life-quotes

❤ Melissa

Three Weeks Into 2015 – Am I On Track?

Hi everyone, happy Friday once again! Hope you all had a good week. I am busy juggling my many balls in the air these days. I re-read my first blog of the year and reminded myself of my focuses. I am three weeks into the New Year already and I’m pretty much on track. Well not on everything, but one thing at a time. For the first time since I was in high school, I entered my work into a writing contest. I entered a short story contest and was really pumped about it. I should hear by the end of February if I won anything, but that would just be the icing on the cake. I was just proud that I built up the courage to submit my short story in the first place. I will be sure to keep you posted when and if I hear anything. I also managed to write another five hundred words in my book. Although it’s not a lot for three weeks of time, I remind myself there are only twenty-four hours in a day and I probably should sleep for at least seven of them… so my time is limited. Even though I may not actually be writing words down in Word, the story is very much alive in my mind and I am always thinking about scenarios to write and the direction of the characters. That has to count towards it too. Every day at least once I think about my story.

Keeping up with my blog once a week takes quite a bit of my free time too because I have to think about what to write about, write it, edit it and post it somewhere between Thursday morning and Friday morning. That is tight space considering I spend the whole day with my little man who is also trying to get and hold my attention. This week actually I was almost certain I wasn’t going to get this up… but here it is. My New Year Focus is still holding. Yay me! Self high-five. My family focus is well on track too. My son’s second birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks and that is certainly occupying a lot of space in my mind. I am thinking of special things we can do together on his actual birthday and I am planning a party for him the following Saturday. I said I wasn’t going to go overboard… but I was just fooling myself. I believe this will be controlled overboard though. I think. No I’m pretty sure. I will plan two activities for the kids and have got most of his decorations already, so check on the list.

AND – somewhere in between all this stuff I am still finding time to read my newest book from ‘Blogging For Books’. The 13th Gift by Joanne Huist Smith- book review to come. This time I think I’ll actually finish the book too. Ha! The emotional turmoil of the family reeling from the loss of their husband/father has sucked me in. Stay tuned for that.

TGIF! Have yourself a very happy weekend.

❤ Melissa

Poetry Friday – Delay

robert-frostHappy Friday once again my friends. I felt like it was time to share another poem with you. I just finished completing the final edit of it. My favorite work to edit is my poetry because there is a feeling I get when I find that perfect word with great depth that just makes the poem speak. It is powerful to use so little words and be able to communicate so much. I never feel frustrated working on my poetry, but rather a sense of calm comes over me. Not like when I edit my novels, but that’s a blog for a different today. Today is about poetry and more specifically a poem about the power of physical love, of living in the moment, not fearing the quickly fading future. Please read and enjoy! As always, I love to hear your comments or for you to share your poems with me. Thank you for taking the time to visit. Please take a moment this weekend to live in the now, relish it, own it, all too quickly it has passed and will fade. 

Happy weekend!

❤ Melissa


 Delay

You cannot force it away,
resistance slowly defeated.
That I cannot face today
will approach in tomorrow.
Our perishable minds,
fading with time.
Don’t whisper thoughtful words
of forever remembrance.
Memories inevitably
slip into oblivion.
Even sacred moments
succumb to the abandon
and disappear.
As this evening’s sun exhales
its last breath of dusk,
do not waste yours
with promises of eternity.
Inhale the scent of my vanilla skin,
taste the salt off my collar-bone,
in these moments
our vanishing forever,
let’s delay tomorrow.