I am running away and joining the circus. What part will I play? Juggler extraordinaire! I can hear the carnie introducing my act right now. Step right up folks, step right up, watch as the Magnificent Melissa struggles to juggle, a husband, a baby, two cats, family, friends, a house, laundry, dishes, her workout routine and rehab from her car accident, her ever failing writing career and tornado of emotions and new for 2014 her daring return to work. Yes folks, don’t miss the chance to witness it all come crashing down around her.
My talent is not uniquely mine however; nope I share this talent with basically every person out there. We’re all just trying to make it through the day keeping the most amount of balls in the air as we can. The key is balance and I’m practicing really hard at it. Right now I feel like every morning I make a conscious decision as to what ball I’m keeping my eye on that day, today is laundry… so all the other balls get neglected and I deal with laundry. Tomorrow is writing… so the house is a mess, the laundry piled up, my husband neglected, I feel flabby cause I didn’t get my work out in which ultimately leads to those emotions trying to make a run for my attention, but nope I let that ball fall to the ground because today is not the day for tears and guilt and self-pity, but he’s a determined little guy and somehow I manage to pick it back up and throw it back into sequence because I always manage to find a few minutes for guilt because maybe I’m not doing enough and sadness because another day disappears and I haven’t given enough.
I juggle these items all to the rhythm of my one year old’s schedule.
Wake up: Ball one- Dylan, up it goes.
Dylan naps: Ball two- Clean up, in the air.
Ball three: Exercise- up.
Ball four: Shower, change, go go.
Ball five: Prep lunch, quick go.
Dylan wakes up: Ball two through five, crash down. Ball one, soaring in the air again.
Ball six: One outdoor activity lasting no more than 1.5 hours or ball one (Dylan) will certainly come crashing down but he won’t go quietly and no one wants to see Ball seven (Mommy emotional breakdown) make its way into rotation.
Juggle, juggle, crash, crash, juggle, crash and round in rotation we go. Most days I take the balls as they come, but even as I write this post I have a cat sitting to the left of me, a basket of laundry to the right and next to the laundry, the husband (neglected) and playing Candy Crush and the other cat between his legs and I can’t help but let that guilt ball fly, fly high because I have taken double the amount of time I thought I needed to write this post because I had to stick with my witty juggling analogy which takes a lot of thought to be clever when I could have just said… not enough of me to make every one happy and every thing on the to-do list accomplished.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to pack my bag… I hear the circus is coming to town.